Could it be...me? Yes, in my upside down view.

Wow. Just watched a new episode of "What not to Wear" on TLC. They had a mom of 3 on who dressed, dare I say like I do up to a point. I do dress up to go out or to Church and think I look fashionable. I take care of my haircut and color it regularly.

I am guilty of not wearing make-up unless going out and I don't mean to run errands. I wear t-shirts and pj pants at home. Really, why wear my good clothes at home so they can get dirty? Why not save them to go out and they last longer? Why wear make-up every day when I can save money and only wear it when I go "out"? I know Stacy and Clinton would think there is something seriously wrong with me...maybe there is and maybe there isn't. Wonder what dear hubby really thinks...

I'm sure I could use some pointers to dress my larger body and look 10lbs thinner. Now, that would be nice. What I can't stand is to look at myself on TV or in a picture.This may be TMI but when I see a picture of myself I am shocked and not in a good way. I can't believe how hideously large I look! In the mirror, at home, I don't see the body that is in the picture. The upside to this is I don't think I'd get an eating disorder. I truly think I am thinner than I am. Weird, huh?

I've been this way my whole life - as long as I can remember. I am well adjusted, have friends, got married, had a job, and am not deranged. I have an upside down way of viewing my body. Is this self protection from the truth? Am I hiding behind the image in my head? Most likely, yes. Will is screw up my whole life, nope.

Introspection is done. This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands and vanity takes over. Everyone is beautiful or has something beautiful about them. It isn't always what's on the outside that counts. One can be a horrible person in a beautiful package. Eventually, the package erodes and the real ugliness comes out.

I'd rather be me with an upside down view of myself on the outside and a "right round" view of myself on the inside.