This got me thinking that I rather like being a SAHM. My stress level is certainly not what it was last November. I'm in a better mood and I'm not "barking" at everyone - well...not all the time!
Besides taking care of Unka Bunka - the most important one - I am looking for bargains. Last month, I cut our grocery bill by $150. My goal this month is to come in $100 less than our budget.
Yep, I said budget. It isn't a nice word. When confronted with that word most of us "gasp" cringe and want to run screaming from the room! I prefer to use the words spending plan myself. Once I found out we were lucky enough to conceive the now Unka Bunka, we decided to get out of the constraints of debt. We pay cash for everything, live under our means, and yes not utilize credit. In 5 months we paid off 2 houses, 1 student loan, one home equity loan, and a couple credit cards. We accomplished this 2 months earlier than we planned!
It wasn't all sweetness and light in the beginning. I had been resisting the idea for months. Even more so when Dear Hubby shoved the Dave Ramsey book, "Total Money Makeover" at me in the car as we set out for a 5.5 hour drive to my hometown for a weekend visit. Dear Hubby had been listening to Dave's radio show for a year or so. I was stubborn...
Then I was bored on the drive so I peeked at the book. My plan was to scoff loudly at the idea until I drove Dear Hubby nuts and he gave up on the subject. Yes, I was newly married and didn't like being "told what to do with my money". Boy did I have a lot to learn!
Much to my surprise I was agreeing with what Dave had written. I read story after story about people under very difficult circumstances getting out of mountains of debt. I started to think well if they could do it (if they could willingly sacrifice), if that single mom could do it, and if that person on disability could do it then I could too.
It is not all about me and Dear Hubby changing our spending habits and how we look at life. It put God in the equation too! It is about sacrificing for a greater good or goal. As we started to track our spending we talked a lot about being good stewards. We talked about what we could GIVE to our Church if we were debt free, not what we'd buy ourselves.
This isn't a fad. It is our lifestyle plain and simple. We aren't better than anyone else. This is what works for us and our marriage but it may not be for everyone. Sometimes it makes people uncomfortable but that is how I was before I embraced the change...
We continue to use the same principals today. We spend every penny we earn (ok, that he earns now). We rarely, if ever, argue about money. We sit down each month and budget our income - our considerably less income! There was no crisis when I lost my job. We had an emergency fund and had lived on one income while we paid off all our debt 2 years ago. We could do it
We have what I like to call a "spending plan" for each month. We decide all our payments of necessity bills (mortgage, retirement, savings, charity, electricity, gas) and of flexible bills (groceries, car gas, non grocery items, gifts etc). We know how much we will take in that month give or take over time for Dear Hubby. Once the budget is set that is it. When bills are paid or purchases made we write down every dollar spent, in the appropriate category, on our budget sheet. When a category is full, we can't spend anymore for that one - even groceries! You have to get creative when that happens!
Besides our mortgage, groceries was our biggest category. I felt the need to cut it down since I'm not bringing in 1/2 the income. I do spend a significant amount of time searching the sale ads and planning our meals each week. Mainly I plan what we'll eat in a given week around the sales and use coupons off the Internet. This is a full time job! We certainly aren't suffering and I still get my Diet Dew and wine. I am working on a spreadsheet that compares the prices at our local grocery store with WalMart (45 miles away) and two local discount stores. I plan to map out my purchases and estimate how much we'll need to spend each month by summer.
The more I shave off the grocery and non-grocery budget the more likely I can continue to be a SAHM. Unka Bunka would be thrilled to spend the next 2 years with mom! Reality will come into play eventually and I'll find a job so we can meet our retirement goals. For now, the dream is nice!
We owe all this to Dave Ramsey and his book "Total Money Makeover". We used to have a copy but gave it away to someone in financial trouble. I am proud to say we only have our house as debt and that will be paid off in a couple years!
We have become very disciplined in our shopping. I don't need many things but sometimes I still want them! That feeling doesn't stay long anymore. I reconcile those feelings with the security I have knowing we can survive quite comfortably even on 1/2 our previous income! That is why losing my job was not a crisis.
What I have learned:
- Things don't buy happiness, security does.
- Excess is not good for the soul giving is!
- Kids don't need as much as they (or their friends) think they do.
- I LOVE not having a cell phone.
- You don't have to argue about money. (not that we did that much)
- I don't need things to impress others or make me happy. I am happy with me.
You know I'm still waiting for a one-on-one lesson from you. :-D I'll add his book to my list. Wait! I'll see if I can borrow it from the library. ;-D
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