Not my cup of tea

I watched "Eat, Pray, Love" Saturday afternoon when I was ALL ALONE. My time would have been better spent reading or cleaning! I read the book and thought it was pretty good.

My problem, and it is a big one, with the movie is that it really glorifies divorce more than the book. It basically says that it is ok to divorce because:  you have nothing to talk about, you "grew apart" etc. I think some of that reasoning is hogwash.

I am not a fan of divorce and I've never been in that position. I'd like to think I would work things out somehow. That is what I believe in and what my faith demands. I do know there are legitimate reasons to divorce - personal safety in cases of physical and mental abuse. Sometimes the other person just leaves, checks out, and you have no choice as they start the process. (I am not looking to offend anyone these are my personal feelings about me and not you)

So according to the book and movie for a woman to "find herself" she must leave her husband, check out other religions (not saying this is bad because learning about other faiths is fine), and sleep with other men without being married. Some may think I'm taking this book too literally or being too conservative. Think about reading this book if your 15-16 years old. You'd suck that up and quote it to support your behavior till you were at least 30!

The crux of this is the ME, ME, ME attitude. That it is all about ME, ME, ME as Toby Keith sings.  I hate to break it to you all but life isn't all about me. Shocker right? Some of you know me and I used to say it had to be all about me. Nope, was I ever wrong! When you focus inward so much you miss everything! You miss the opportunity to find joy in helping others.

In a marriage, you can find what makes you happy without getting a divorce. If you have a great partner, like I do, they allow you the latitude to "find yourself" within the context of your marriage. This creates a balance of me, me, me and we, we, we that isn't bad. I believe I found out a lot about myself looking inward during my marriage. Some of it is good and some of it is not good at all. My dear hubby allows or affords me that time like a gift. I like to think I do the same for him.

I will tell you that I am at my happiest when I'm not focusing on me and what makes me happy but what makes my family happy. Giving of myself, even when I don't want to, makes me happy. I see how everyone flourishes when I have this attitude. I am grateful to have the attitude most days. I see the poor results when I go inward just wanting to make me happy - no one is happy. Some may think I lost myself in my marriage. Or that I'm too focused on others rather than myself. That I'm the most important person and should be the one to be happy and catered to. What do you think?

God asks us to help even the littlest because they are Him. Did Jesus only focus on Himself? No, he was the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate unselfish act. Why is it so hard for us to be unselfish - for me to be unselfish? That's easy because society has ingrained this "ME, ME, ME" instant gratification rhetoric into our brains. Who plants that seed in society - the devil. The master of deception. Look what happened to Eve in the garden...

I challenge all of you to do an experiment for 1 month.(or longer). Write down everything you are thankful for each day as the day goes on. There is no right answer. Look at my growing list of 1000 Thanksgivings. Sometimes it is trite and sometimes profound. Start with gratitude to change your attitude. If you feel any changes read Ann Voskamp's "1000 Gifts" book. The more thankful I am becoming the more outward focused I become. The less ME, ME, ME the happier I am. It isn't perfect I still have my days but I haven't lost me at all in this. I have found a peaceful place inside that enhances me and has changed me for the better.