LOVE: On pondering the myths, the truths and reality of it!

L-O-V-E. I've been pondering it all week. Now I've had some wine, Moscato to be specific, and I'd like to talk about it.

You may wonder why I am getting so deep. I have friends and family who have gotten engaged and are in the blush of the beginning of love. I've had another friend suffer a loss and is grieving a parent. Yet, I have another friend going through an extremely rough patch in her life due to love.

Let's examine what love is not. It is not a feeling, really. If you had asked me that 5-10 years ago I would have argued till the cows come home that it most certainly is a feeling! Feelings are great but they do fade.

Society tells us that love is this rush of emotion and feeling or lust. When that is gone you just move on. Hence, the instant gratification we all know and society tells us we should demand.   Those feelings are what attracts us to our future partner initially. You know or remember that rush, the butterflies, the sweating in the early stages of your courtships. Those are wonderful emotions but they dissipate over time in a relationship.

I've been married over 3 years now. I am here to tell you that lust and rush of emotion does fade. The passion isn't the same as it was in the beginning. It can't be! How would we ever get anything accomplished in that constant state? I know how distracted I was during our courtship and first few months or marriage - I was pretty worthless!

What has come over those 3, sometimes long, years is a deeper love. One that I had no understanding of when we were first married. Had I really understood I would have saved myself some anxiety! That shouldn't be surprising to most of you that I'd worry - get that from my mom unfortunately.

What replaced that rush, that groundswell of "feelings" was a contentment. Yes, a contentment in the knowledge that my hubby and I are committed to our marriage. We are not going to rush off to the next relationship because things get stale, boring, or just plain hard. We are in this together by the grace of God and He will help us work through whatever comes our way.

I am not saying it is all roses all the time. After all. the man bought me a rosebush for mother's day saying, "now you can have your own flowers"! I believe he thinks that absolves him from buying flowers ever again. So far no flowers have come my way! Something better has. No, not the laundry folding table he made me!

What could be better than a present some may ask? Many things! My hubby lets me sleep on the weekends and gets up with the little one. He doesn't complain too much about my 20 minute showers. If I don't feel like making dinner he doesn't complain. In fact, my husband does not really complain! He absolves me from outside work. The man takes me fishing and will bait my hook and take the fish off for me. What a guy! If all that doesn't prove his love no amount of flowers will!

Now, back to the original subject:  LOVE.  There are many more types of love. The love we have for our children. Now that one surprised me almost as much as marriage. I had no clue how much I would love my child - it can be ferocious, sweet, all consuming, and beautiful. There is the love for ones friends. Sometimes you are blessed with friends that are more like family and you love them dearly - you know who you are. Sometimes you feel as if you love them more than some members of your family!

The ultimate love comes from God. This is perfect love. The kind of love born of the ultimate sacrifice. We can never achieve this love in our earthly life. This is the love we aspire to. This love is the emptiness in some people who don't feel it and search for it their whole life. This is the love that allows us and shows us how to love our spouse, our children and everyone else. Without God I would not have a marriage. He is the integral piece that brought us together and keeps us together. Without his love we could not love each other with all our faults! Believe me I have too many to name and sometimes can't understand how my hubby overlooks some of them! But he does by the grace of God.

So, after taking weeks to write this post I have a wish for all of you. That you give love, find love and be love! Why? God loves you!